PROMPT 19: Something that never fails to make me feel better ...

- Damian, my brother.
- Puppy kisses and snuggles from Romeo and Rogue.
- Chocolate.
- Rain, the way it smells.
- The sun, and the sand and a drink in my hand ;)
- The sunset.
- Going home to my parent's house.
- Hugs from my mom and my dad.
- My Grandma's house and her cooking.
- Listening to my Grandpa talk about the old days.
- Holding hands with someone who cares about me.
- Flowers.
- Hugs, in general.
- Going to the movies.
- Popcorn, especially from the theater.
- Reading a book.
- A kiss on the cheek of a forehead kiss.
- Working out.
- Music.
- Phone convos. with my mom.
- The smell of books.
- Sleeping in.
- When strangers smile at me.
- Someone making me laugh.
- My friends.
- Unexpected texts and phone calls from family and friends.
- The smell of coffee.

I'm sure there are more, but those are the few I could come up with.

Read More

Disrespecting parents (Prompt 18)

My views on disrespecting parents ...

Well I think that parents should be shown respect.

They are the people who brought us into the world, and if we're lucky, raised us and cared for us as we grew up. They are the people who changed our diapers, cleaned up after our messes, made our colds go away with crackers and Sprite.

So disrespecting them is out of the question in my opinion. I know there are many people out there that do not have the best relationships with their parents, but to purposely disrespect them is uncalled for.

I feel like I'm lucky because I was blessed with extraordinary parents. And I make damn sure I respect them. I also make it a priority to respect my friends/boyfriends parents as best as I can. I expect the exact same thing from my friends and the guys that I date to respect my parents and their home.

Maybe it's a Hispanic thing, but I was raised to respect my elders, and basically everyone. I was taught that you say hello, give hugs or shake hands without someone approaching me first. And I agree.

Sure, there are times I don't agree with my parents opinions and beliefs, but I feel that we've built a relationship with each other that we respect our views and ways of being.

All in all our parents might not get us, or might be difficult, but they're the reason we even exist. The reason we get the chance to live. The reason we're inhaling and exhaling this exact breath. The reason we one day may have the chance to also create life on this earth, and hopefully have littles that will respect us.

Read More

Things that make me scared ...

- Heights
- Dying in a car accident
- Getting/Being pregnant
- Giving birth
- The dark
- Opened closet doors while trying to sleep
- Never finding "the one"
- Living life "alone"
- Clowns
- Spiders
- Snakes
- Tight spaces (like elevators)
- Free falling
- Cancer
- Tumors
- Losing the people I love
- Freddy Krueger
- Porcelain Dolls
- The white noise from a TV
- Tsunamis
- War
- The future
- Abnormally large moths

That's all I can come up with right now.

Read More

Three things you are proud of about your personality (Prompt 16)

So I've been trying to hash out this post for quite sometime, and I really don't know why it's so difficult for me to come up with just three things I'm proud about my personality.

I think I have a twisted idea of the kind of personality I have, and I've taken to heart what people have said about it that I don't think it's all that.

But here's what I've come up with ...

1. I know that I am a shy person, but I like that when I have to be outgoing, outspoken or extroverted I can be. I like that I tend to try to stay out the spotlight and watch someone else soak it up. I like that I have a more introverted personality.

2. I think I have a funny personality and sometimes I find it quite shocking that people find me funny sometimes, especially my Aunt Susie she's always laughing at the stuff I say. I guess I like that I think I have a funny personality.

3. I don't know if you can have a dependable personality, but I'd like to think that I'm the type of person people can count on to be honest and reliable, whether it's with my family, friends or coworkers. I'd like to think I'm a woman of my word.

Read More

(Prompt 15) The best thing to happen to you this week

The best thing that happened to me this past week happened on Friday.

It was a typical Friday and I made plans to go home for the weekend. I got a call from my mom in the early afternoon asking me to drive to Hobbs, N.M. instead of Lovington because one of our family friends was having a surprise birthday party. Of course I said I would go and I was looking forward to spending time with some of my favorite people and as a bonus my Aunt Susie was also going to visit.

So when I got off work I headed out to Hobbs and showed up to this surprise party. Everyone was in a great mood and that’s just what I needed — people who were happy and people who wanted to spend time with me.

My Aunt showed up hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I brought Dos Equis and Michelob and frozen cocktails!" I just laughed at her and told her what the heck she was waiting for and to bring them on in.

Our friend showed up and he was definitely surprised. Even though it wasn't many of us we really enjoyed each others company and once the music started blasting out of my uncle’s colored disco ball speaker the party was on.

I’m close with my family, I always have been and I always will be. I enjoy being with them as much as I can. And Friday night was a reminder for me of how much they mean to me. That was the best thing that happened to me this past week, because lately I've been down in the dumps, feeling sorry for myself. And being with them this past Friday was refreshing. I hadn't laughed that hard or had that much fun in such a long time. I hadn't let myself enjoy just being alive and enjoying the little things in life, for what seems like ages.

It’s silly moments with my family that really count and make life worthwhile. Those people God blessed me with truly see who I am and love me despite my moodiness and the crappy attitude I can have. Those people remind me that I am loved and I am worth something in this world.

I needed a night like that with people like them to rejuvenate my soul and remind me that my life is great. That I will be okay and survive in this world as long as I surround myself with hearts like the ones my family has.

Read More

Something disgusting I do (Prompt 14)

This is a toughy!

Because evidently I do not think I do anything disgusting =P
Soooo let me dig deep and see what I can come up with.
Hmm ...
- I let Romeo and Rogue (the puppies) lick my face, some people find that disgusting.
- My diet is disgusting, which I'm doing a better job of eating cleaner
- Sometimes more sleep beats out showering, lol
- I hate putting clothes away, so by the end of the week there are piles of clothes on the floor around my room
- If it's chocolate I truly believe in the five-second rule, or even the 10-second rule.
- I never clean my ears out
- I enjoy peeling of my dead skin after I get a sun burn
- I like the name Sarah spelt with an "H," and yes I know Jimmy Fallon, "H's" are "EW!"

That's all I could up with, folks.
Hope I don't come off as too repulsive.

Read More

A date I would love to go on (Prompt 13 out of 30)

A night under a blanket of stars, a bottle of wine (or beers) and a fire nearby ... 'nough said.

I fancy myself a simple gal. I don't need a gourmet meal or anything extravagant. 

But I am definitely a romantic, as much as I try to deny it, I am a hopeless, hopeless romantic. 

The first line I wrote on top sounds like perfection. Me and a sweet guy grabbing a couple of blankets and heading out into the sticks away from everyone else and just cuddling up looking at the stars, talking away, flirting and laughing deep into the night. Absolute perfection.

Maybe even a little Josh Turner or Randy Rogers Band playing in the background and some two-stepping and kissing under the moon. 

Even hauling along some mallows and chocolate and fixin' up some S'Mores.

That's not too much to ask for, right?

Read More

My current relationship, if single discuss how single life is

I am single. I've been single most of my life.
I guess I’m not big on relationships. I've never really been good at being in them. I feel like I am good at being single, it’s easy. Yes, it does get extremely lonely. And I think the older I’m getting the toll of the loneliness is setting in.
I've never really cared about not having a boyfriend when I was younger, especially when I was in high school and then even more when I was in college. In high school I enjoyed being a kid. I did have a couple of puppy love flings, but it was never anything serious. After high school I joined REACH (the Catholic traveling youth ministry I was a part of for a couple of years) and we were obligated to be on a single commitment, which some who were on team with me would argue that I didn't truly commit to the singleness, but that’s a story for another day.
Once I started college I was blessed to have an amazing roommate and make new friends with a bunch of young women who embraced being single and having a blast. College was so much fun and I never felt tied down by a guy or a relationship. I grew up a lot as a young woman and experienced college the best way I think anyone can — being single.
The last time I was sort of taken off the market was last spring/summer. Though technically I wasn't in a relationship because I was too scared to commit to the guy I was dating. (I have some weird trust issues, and well, trouble letting go of my single life). Dating my ex, I realized how much work you have to put into a relationship and how much of your life you share with another person. It is wonderful, don’t get me wrong, I like sharing my life with another person, but at this point in my life I don’t want to waste time spending it with the wrong someone.
Though I do enjoy my single-life, I am hoping that I can soon find someone to possibly be in a relationship with. But I’m picky and impatient at the same time. Everyone that I talk about my singleness with tells me you’re young, be patient, it’ll happen, there’s someone out there for you, don’t settle. And I know all these things, but I’m just ready to have someone that I truly want to be with and they truly want to be with me.
To be completely honest I’m just tired of being alone — doing everything alone and not having anyone to share this life with. I’m not saying that I’m prepared to go out and get married, I’m saying I wouldn't mind having someone who wants something more than ‘hooking up.’ I’m not a settler either, I've been lucky to meet a couple of guys lately that want the same thing I do, but I just don’t feel that connection with them. I don’t want a boyfriend just to have one. Maybe I’m weird, but I’m looking for that “spark,” that “connection” with someone, I've felt it before in past relationships, but they weren't meant to be, I suppose.
I’ll wait until I feel those stupid little butterflies and wait for Mr. Right, if he even exists. Being single does have its perks, but I think I've out-perked them all.
Life’s too short to be living it alone.

Read More

The Ex Factor

(Prompt 11)

Things I want to say to an ex...

You'd think that if I was the person who ended the relationship it'd be easy for me to move on, forget about the guy and keep living life? 

Evidentaly not. 

How have I managed to be so hung up on you and allow you to string me along, after all the lies you told me. After hiding the fact that you were in a relationship but still treated me like I was your one and only. 

How could you treat me like crap by keeping me hanging on, by leading me on?

How could you text me almost every day and tell me how much you missed me and how much you wanted me. You told me I was beautiful, that I still took your breath away. And then you called me and told me you loved me ... what was I supposed to think? 

You are in a relationship and you told me you loved me, how do you have the nerve to look her in the eyes after you finish talking with me? 

I knew she didn't know about you talking to me every day. I'm not stupid I knew why you wouldn't respond to my texts after 5 p.m. or on the weekends. 

Then it hit me like lightning, why was I allowing you to hurt me? Why was I the only one getting hurt all the time? And why was it okay with you to hurt me? You had to have made a decision on who was going to get hurt, me or her, and you chose me, why? 

You weren't getting hurt and she wasn't because she's clueless. In the end you'd still end up happy with her and me left to be alone pinning over you? 

That's bullshit. 

Then I was pissed at myself because how did I end up being someone's second choice? What lies was I feeding myself to make this okay? I guess I truly believed that you meant all that you said and that you did want to be with me. 

So I put my heart out in the open and told you that I wanted you, me knowing you were in a relationship and I felt so guilty that I did that. 

At first you told me you wanted to be with me too and hope was building up in my heart that we soon may be together. But weeks went on and the stupider I felt because I still didn't have you. 

So I finally worked up the courage to call you out knowing that I may end everything and the chance to keep you as a friend. I asked you if you'd leave her and you said, "I don't know. I feel like I can't. She's a good person and hasn't done anything to leave her. I'm just hurting both of you if I keep this up."

A lie. Because I was the only one getting hurt. My heart crumbled because right then and there I knew I lost. I knew that you chose her and that I wasn't a good enough reason for you to leave. 

So I had to ask what the hell you were doing with me? Why I was being strung along when you knew that there was never going to be a me and you again. You just didn't want me to move on from you and I didn't. 

I've been unhappy for six months because I didn't let you go but how could I when you made it impossible by keeping that small flame burning, continually adding more wood. 

I do not understand why you didn't let me happy like you are and have been. How could you do this to me? How could you be so cruel? You knew you had my heart and you took advantage when you should of been a man and gave it back when you knew you didn't want to care for it.

I'm devistated. 

Read More

Hugs Not Drugs

My Views on Drugs and Alcohol (Prompt 10) ...

So I've never done drugs, but yes I've had alcohol.
Drugs have never been attractive to me and I've never found people who do them attractive either.
Maybe it’s because my parents (more my mom) scared me out of even considering trying drugs when I was growing up that I just didn't ever want to disappoint them.
My dad always tells his story of how he’s never once in his entire life tried drugs and I guess I want to be like him and be able to tell my future kids the same thing as well someday.
I did grow up seeing my mom and dad have drinks every now and then, with their friends on special occasions or during a weekend barbecue, but I didn't grow up with alcoholism in my everyday life.
Much of that has to do with my mom not wanting my brother and I growing up the same way she did with her parents. Her father lost his life due to alcoholism. My mom was only 12 years old when her dad died. The stories she’s shared with me about the way she grew up makes me appreciate how much she loves my bother and myself in not allowing us to be exposed to that kind of life. Her relationship with her mother has ultimately suffered due to alcohol, as well.
I know that alcohol is a drug, that it can take over somebody’s life and ruin it, just like meth or cocaine or whatever. Though alcohol is legal to be consumed, I agree that it should be used responsibly.
Alcohol hasn't taken as much away from me as it has my mom, but I have seen the ugliness it can bring out in people. Because of alcohol I had to let go of someone I loved. Maybe I was too critical, but I was scared of how different that person became under the influence of liquor. I never imagined that person saying the things they said or doing the things they did.
Overall, my opinion is don’t do drugs they’re seriously bad news. And if your going to drink, be smart about it. Don't drink and drive, don’t over drink and don’t let it change you into someone you’re not.

Read More

I've Got Death on my Mind ...

My mom and I were chatting last night and the topic of discussion was death, well more the topic of funerals.
 My mom is a bit of a weirdo and she’s always said that she hopes she doesn't live to be old, which old to her is 50, evidently (Not funny to me and my brother, BTW).
She told me last night that she was going to write a “death book.” When I asked her what she meant she said she was going to write down the specifics of how she wanted her funeral to be conducted.
Her wishes, as of now, consist of leaving her casket closed, she does not want flowers (her motto has always been, “give me flowers when I’m alive, what good are they to me when I’m dead!), she wants her co-workers at Gandy Corp. to be her pallbearers and she wants us to play her favorite Tejano songs. Pretty morbid, right?
She got me thinking about what I would want my funeral to be like. I mean it is kind of your last “hoorah” before you physically disappear from this earth. I've always told my mom that I wanted her to play the song, “Smile” by Charlie Chaplin, but that’s about it.
So last night I added to my final wishes, and told my mom if I happen to die young that I’d like my pallbearers to be my Albuquerque guy friends. In which she told me she already figured that and told me the six she had already picked out ... she’s crazy. That’s the only other detail I've added, because quite frankly I hope I have a lot of life to live. But I know that tomorrow is never ever a guarantee.
I know that funerals are most definitely not a fun occasion, but I’d hope that my life would be celebrated at my funeral. That people would remember the great times, along with the bad and hopefully I would leave them with a smile anytime I’d happen to run across their minds.
Just felt like jotting down the convo I had with my mom and remind you to love with all your heart everyday, cherish those in your life and live like there is no tomorrow.
Life’s too short to live any other way.

Read More

American Sniper: A Movie-going experience I may never forget

(DON'T WORRY, NO SPOILERS)

Many of you who know me well are aware of how much I enjoy watching movies and especially going to watch them in movie theaters. I've always said, besides my parents house and the Catholic church movie theaters have always made me feel comfortable, feel at home.

Cinemas have always allowed me to open myself up to other ideas, gave me a view on how other people live their lives — though they may be fictional. It has always been an escape for me, a place I can be vulnerable and feel however I want to feel.

Last night, I caught a movie at a local cinema and the experience I had is something I've never had before, and one I will probably remember for a long time.

I watched “American Sniper” the movie based on Navy SEAL Chris Kyle, who is considered the deadliest sniper in U.S. Military history. His story portrayed on the silver screen is intense, to say the least. But the even more intense thing that happened was after the movie finished.

In a theater, with probably 100 people, the entire room was silent. There was no music that went along with the credits. People got up from their seats and made their way to the exit, not saying a word. It was like leaving a funeral. Goose bumps formed across my skin, because I knew that what I just watched wasn't just a movie or just a story about some U.S. soldier killing a bunch of people. I knew that what I and the other people in that theater felt was absolute respect for a man who risked his life for his country.

I've never felt so sad after watching a movie or so moved. I was mostly moved, of course, by Chris Kyle’s story, but also by the silence I shared with the other people who sat through those two hours watching this man fight for what he believed in and struggle with the job he had to do and the lives he had to take in order to save others.

Today, I've read several articles about Chris Kyle’s life and reviews on the movie. Some people have said “American Sniper” is similar to propaganda, and the film is idolizing a cold-stone killer. Now this is my opinion, but it broke my heart reading some of these reviews.

I know as an American I am truly blessed to have men like Chris Kyle volunteer their lives to go to places like Iraq or Afghanistan or wherever to fight a war to keep my country safe, and ultimately me and many of the people I love safe.

I've had family members and friends who did tours in Afghanistan and put their lives at risk and saw horrific things that I could never imagine belittling what they did to protect my freedom.

Yes, “American Sniper” is a movie and it may be ‘Hollywoodized’ but this story is about a real person who got the job done — a job that many of us would be too cowardice to ever do if we had to.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but remember this; you’re able to have an opinion and express it because for years people like Chris Kyle put their lives in the front lines to fight for that freedom, along with many more.

The life we’re blessed to live here in America is something that can be ripped away in an instant, but let’s hope there’s always a Chris Kyle out there willing to go out and protect our house.

Read More