A Hard Lesson Learned (Part 4): AFTERMATH

Before we left Oklahoma, I looked up his ex-wife’s number and called her. I was still concerned about his son and where he was at. I needed to make sure the little boy was okay.

The woman answered and I told her who I was, that I used to date her ex-husband and that he had recently told me that their son was very sick and in the hospital and I wanted to make sure he was okay. She told me that her son does not know that he is his father. That he has never visited and is not allowed to see their son.

My mouth dropped.

I told her everything that had happened, and she told me that he had abandoned them last year, he took her money and her car and took off to Texas. She said she had to hire a private detective so she could find him and file for a divorce. We talked for a little while longer and I told her that I was glad her son was okay. I told her that if he ever tried to fight her in court for their son that I would testify against him and tell the judge what an unstable, liar he is.

He had not seen his son since the first year of his life, the little boy is three. I asked her if he had ever visited the little boy in Arizona and she said never. I asked if the little boy got sick at some point in January and she said no.

So who knows where he went when he told me those few times that he was going to Arizona. Did he just stay in Lubbock and not see me for two or three days and call me every night and pretend he was visiting with his son? I don’t know.

She told me that the whole fighting for custody court case wasn’t true ... he was not a part of his son's life.

After I spoke with her, I was shocked. This guy had not only lied to me since May, but basically lied to me since the beginning of our relationship. Almost an entire year full of complete lies and dishonesty.

When we got on the road I called his mom ... I just wanted to ask her about him and if this was typical of him to do. She hadn’t talked to him in months and she had no idea that he was in Oklahoma.

She knew that we had broken up in May because she saw it on Facebook. When I told her everything that happened she just started to cry, and my heart went out to her. I told her I didn’t mean to call her and ruin her day or bring her bad news, I just wanted to know if she knew what was going on.

She’s a very nice lady and apologized for all that happened and told me that she thought I was good for him.

She wished me well in my life and said she thought I was a “bright, beautiful young woman that will find a good man.”

I told her that I will continue to pray for him and that I wish no bad upon him and that I hope he does find happiness. But that she needed to know I was glad he was out of my life and disappointed in what he put me and my family through.

We got back to Lubbock that Thursday evening and it was so surreal. I couldn’t make my head believe that what we just went through actually happened. I felt like I had watched one of those insane Lifetime movies, but in reality my life, for those 72 hours, was a Lifetime movie.

And you know what, I went out that Thursday night with a new guy I recently met. I told myself that as bad as that situation was and as crazy as it got that I was not going to let him ruin love for me. I can’t live my life in complete fear that all men are going to lie to me, the way he did. I can’t deny myself happiness from someone else, or hold his actions against another guy that comes into my life because of what he did.

I do admit that I am terrified that something like that can happen again, but I’m trying to stay positive and have faith that God knows why I ended up on the path that I did and why I meet the people that I do. I have faith that there is an amazing man out there for me ... and some idiot is not going to ruin that for me.

All I know is that he messed with the wrong girl and the wrong family.

And I had to write this out because it’s therapeutic for me. And maybe this just might be a warning for others to remember to be careful who you trust, and remember you can always count on the ones you love to help you out when things get extremely tough.