A Hard Lesson Learned (Part 1): LUBBOCK

I went through something that I never thought could ever happen. Especially, to me. And I’m writing about it, because that’s how I get things out of my mind. I’m also writing about it because I feel people should hear my story and maybe learn from my experience and my mistakes.

This story is about a relationship that I recently ended, which turned into a nightmare, but could have ended up being worst. But I’m lucky, and I am blessed, to have an amazing family that supports me and stands by my side no matter what life throws my way.

And let’s just say life threw me a hell of a curve ball.

So I’ll start from the beginning and sort of sum up what has happened in the past year. I moved to Lubbock in November 2014, I didn’t know anybody other than my brother and I was trying desperately to get over an old boyfriend. I started doing the online dating thing and started meeting guys. At first none of the guys I met were serious, but I made friends with some and others got the boot.

In June 2015, I met a guy on a dating site that seemed super nice, and we seemed to have a lot in common. We started chatting through the dating ap, and the day before my birthday (June 23) we finally met in person.

He was quiet and shy but seemed nice, I was nervous and so was he, but what do you expect? He told me he had a two-year-old son, was recently divorced and had just moved to Lubbock around the same time I did. That first night he told me that he would drive to-and-from Tucson, Ariz. to see his son, and that sometimes he would bring his son back with him to Texas. I remember thinking to myself, “what a dedicated dad.”

We continued to hang out with each other and started dating later on. We then ended up doing the relationship thing in November 2015 ... I made him wait on the whole “I’m your girlfriend and you’re my boyfriend thing” I remember him asking me to be his girlfriend just two weeks after meeting me for the first time.

So I had a boyfriend and it was nice. I had someone to hang out with, do stuff with and my family seemed to like him. He was nice, never a jerk or ‘asshole-ish,’ and things had been good for the most part.

But there was an incident in October 2015. We had planned a trip with my parents to go to Dallas for a football game and hit up Six Flags. So I told him that I would pay for the football game tickets if he would pay for the Six Flags tickets, my parents were nice enough to take care of the hotel room. He told me yes and said he wanted to buy us season passes to Six Flags, because they were having a good deal and we’d make an effort to visit Dallas more often if we bought them. I had no problem with that so he told me that he purchased them.

When we got to Dallas, and right before we were about to head out to Six Flags, he told me that he hadn’t bought the tickets, but that he would buy them at that moment. His credit card was denied so I ended up having to pay for the Six Flags tickets, along with the football tickets I had already bought and it turned out that he had no money at all with him so now the whole cost of the trip fell on my shoulders. I was pissed! But he apologized and he ended up paying me back when we got back to Lubbock.

For Christmas, he came home with me to spend the holidays with my family. When we got to my parents house everyone was busy cooking and baking so I started to help. We needed a small carton of milk so I asked him if he could run to the store for me and buy some, well it turned out he did not even have $1.50 on him to buy a small carton of milk ... he had nothing. So of course, I was very disappointed but didn’t make a big deal because it was Christmas Eve. But I thought to myself, “How does this guy go on trips with no money? How am I supposed to rely on him? What if we had an emergency? He wouldn’t be able to help.” But I let go, after I had given him a piece of my mind.

Before Christmas, we found out that the Texas Tech Football team had made it to a Bowl Game in Houston against the LSU Tigers (my favorite team) and tickets were super cheap. So I told him that I was going to take my brother, as a Christmas gift, and I asked him if he wanted to go. I told him I knew that money would be tight since it was right after Christmas, but that it would be a quick trip — go to the game and come back. He said yes, let’s go. So again I told him I would buy the tickets for the game if he could take care of the hotel room in Houston for one night. He told me yes, and that he took care of it.

When we end up in Houston, he didn’t pay the hotel room so I ended up having to pay for it, and luckily they still had rooms available. I was infuriated, because this was already the second time he had done that to me, and it’s one thing to do it to me, but another to do it to my brother. What was I supposed to tell my brother, “Sorry, I guess we’re gonna have to sleep in the truck.” Hell no!

After the Houston thing, he payed me back and we made things work, but my faith and trust in him was completely broken.

February came around, and those of you who know me well know I hate Valentine’s Day. But since I had a boyfriend for the first time during that holiday I got a little excited for it, especially after he told me what big plans he had for that day and how fun it would be. The only thing I told him that I wanted was for him to take me to see the Little Mermaid Musical ... I told him that I would be completely content if we just did that. He said yes, but said we’re going to do dinner and all this other romantic nonsense he kept promising. Well on the day before Valentine’s Day my mom and aunt decide to join us for the Little Mermaid show. My aunt bought all of our tickets, but I told her that he would pay her back since technically it was my Valentine’s Day gift. She said okay. But when he showed up to go to the show he didn’t have the money and told me he would get it. He never paid my aunt so I paid her before she left town. He did pay me back later but it sucked that he just never seemed to have anything together.

He did nothing for me on Valentine’s Day ... no dinner that he promised, no romantic gestures... nothing. I had bought him some chocolates and a framed picture of us from the Dallas football game and I gave it to him, after I did he told me he would be back ... I knew he was going to run to the  store and try to find something to buy me. At that point I told him that I didn’t want anything he was going to go try to buy ... I didn’t want to feel like an after-thought. He later told me that his ex-wife stole his money from his bank account and that’s why he couldn’t do anything for me on Valentine’s Day.

Jumping forward to April, one of my friends had a wedding planned in California, and I was going to do everything in my power to go. After getting burned by him on trips I was hesitant to invite him but I did anyway. I mean who wants to go to a wedding alone, especially when you have a significant other? So I ended up inviting him and I let him know about it months in advance so we could save money, since it was going to be a longer trip and a more costly trip.

We bought our plane tickets and booked one of the hotel rooms that we were going to stay in. I bought us tickets to visit Universal Studios in L.A. and he agreed he’d pay for our car rental. Everything seemed like it was going well, I was saving money and so was he. Our flight was leaving from Dallas, so we planned to make the five hour drive early in the morning the day we left. But the night before our big California trip, he called me and told me that he had to go into work and was going to work all night. I told him that he had to be back in Lubbock by 8 a.m. because that’s when we were getting on the road — 10 a.m. was the latest we could leave to be able to catch our 4 p.m. flight.

So I woke up at 6 a.m. texted him and called him and he told me he was on his way back to Lubbock. I got in the shower, got ready and packed the last few things I needed. By the time I was ready it was about 7 to 7:30 a.m. and he still hadn’t showed up. So I called him ... no answer. I texted him ... and he tells me he just got to his apartment. 8:30 a.m. he is still not there. I’m calling him and calling him ... no answer. His texts say I’m on my way. 9:30 a.m. still not there, and at this point I am beyond pissed and freaking out because we have to get on the road to Dallas to make the flight. I’m calling, and calling and calling and he finally answers ... I’m in tears at this point because I am so mad. He says I’m about to be there and I ask him what the hell is going on?

He shows up and I’m waiting in the parking lot. He gets out and tells me that his apartment got robbed and all his money for our California trip was stolen. I completely lose it. I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. I didn’t know what to do other than get on the road, because I knew that I was not going to miss this wedding.

So I told him you need to tell me if you’re staying or you’re going because I’m leaving. He went ... With not a single cent to his name. He went ... Knowing that all of our trips expenses would have to be taken care of by me. He went ... Knowing that I would barely have enough money to get us through that trip and that I would have to pay for the car rental now and the other hotel we were going to stay, all of our meals, gas ... everything. And he still chose to go.

We got on the road, and I broke up with him probably 20 miles after we got out of Lubbock. I told him that we were done, that he was the most unreliable person I had ever met and that I couldn’t do it anymore. We got to Dallas at 3:30 p.m. the security check-in took us 45 minutes. The only reason we made our flight was because it was delayed. When we boarded that plane all I could do was cry. I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. We made it to L.A. and at that point I just had to make the best out of the trip. That trip was extremely stressful and the only reason I got through it was because of my mom and dad. My mom called one of our hotels and paid for it and she wired me some extra money. I will be eternally grateful for that, because my family was struggling financially at the time due to the oil industry doing so poorly. But God-willingly, I got through that trip and was able to see my friend get married.

When we got back to Lubbock, after California, we had done a lot of talking during the trip about what would happen. He apologized and told me he would pay me back for his half of the trip. He begged me to not break up with him. So I told him, yes, he would have to pay me back, because I had bills to pay and I told him that I needed a break from him, but at that point I knew that I couldn’t be with him anymore.

I had completely lost all my trust in him ... how could I stay with someone that I couldn’t count on?