It really sucked. Mainly because I don’t even like Valentine’s Day and my hopes were raised this year with promises of a fun day. And it just didn’t happen at all.
I was more disappointed that I built up these high expectations and they weren’t meet at all.
I’ve never had anyone to celebrate the holiday with and so I figured that this year since I did I would get to experience what everybody that is in a relationship each year experiences.
He said he had a plan, but that it didn’t go his way.
It was awkward because I gave him the valentine gift I was excited to give to him and the “Oh Shit” look on his face is one I probably will never forget.
He thanked me and then told me that he would be right back, and I knew that he was going to go to some store and try to scramble some last minute Valentine’s Day gift. And I let that hurt my feelings.
Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t upset because I didn’t get a gift, I was upset because I felt like I was an after-thought — that I wasn’t someone special enough to take the time and consideration to do a little something for.
So I told him that I didn’t want anything that he was going to get.
We sat in my living room for an hour, he watched TV and I read a book.
And then we started arguing.
He said that his plan was ruined because my family was in town in the morning and that he was going to show up with flowers.
I told him I was sorry my family was there, but that I didn’t understand why they were a problem since they left early in the afternoon, leaving plenty of time for the two of us to celebrate the holiday.
He apologized and said he was an idiot and wanted to make up for it.
I didn’t let him because I felt like anything he did was out of guilt.
I cried. He cried.
And I went to bed feeling like I’m not the kind of girl that deserves the all that silly romanticism ... Maybe that isn’t in my cards, because no one has ever shown me that or done anything like that for me.
I was even more mad at myself for getting wrapped up in the excitement of Valentine’s Day all for nothing. I was looking forward to finally having someone to spend it with, especially someone that for weeks kept talking about how much fun it was going to be.
I have to admit that Valentine’s Day is a lot easier when I was single not expecting anything from anyone.
I know that I’ll get over it and that we’ll move on.
But I don’t know if I was in the wrong for getting so upset and feeling so disappointed.
